Hit a roadblock? Been through a rough patch and can’t stand right? Had things end on a sour note? We’ve all been there in life, where it just no longer feels right and living with it is difficult.
So what do you do about it? Do you put up with it in hopes things get better? Do you leave? It all depends on your circumstances.
Depending on where you are, who you are and when you are, the decision can be as easy as 1,2,3 or as difficult as deciding whether or not you want eat that chocolate cake. (Cause, diabetes. Better watch out for that!)
And no. I do not have diabetes.
What exactly is starting over? It is when you turn a new page in life and take whatever positive power you have and start fresh. On a blank canvas, for you to grow even further.
“The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go.” — Shannon L. Alder
It is leaving behind and letting go of all that has been keeping you from your true potential or affects you in a negative way. It is finally saying, “Enough is enough. This isn’t good for me.”
That is not to say that starting over is necessarily caused by negative things and bad experiences, not at all! If you do that, you’d be moving every time your boss yells at you.
You need to keep in mind, that starting over, is no small feat. It isn’t something that you decide one day, up and leave.
It is something that requires thoughtful planning. With life, planning is easier said than done. Nothing ever goes the way you want it to. You need to know that before doing this.
“Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.” — Nick Hornby
There is no guide or for dummies book for this. It is something that you need to figure out on your own, and that in and of itself, is daunting for many.
Should I start over?
There is no right or wrong answer to the question. It is something that differs with individuals and is something that you must determine for yourself.
Nothing I say here could or should change the decision you ultimately make for yourself.
There are however, factors by which you must take into account before you take that leap of faith.
Circumstances like your marital status, your job, your age, your responsibilities, etc.
Things that you can’t and definitely shouldn’t feel alright leaving behind. You need to be sure, you’re able to leave without strings attached, or bring them with you with minimal negative effects.
To better elaborate on this point, let me tell you about myself. I have, under my belt, the following:
- Foundation Programme
- Diploma (Soon to be completed, as of writing)
- Half a Bachelor’s Degree
- Work Experience
Sounds good enough to start over yes? Maybe. Of the above, work experience is something that I do not want to use when I start over. Here’s why, and ultimately one of the reasons why I want to start over.
I didn’t feel like I’ve earned what I’ve got and where I am today. It was given.
Most would cry if you get your candy taken away. I want to be able to get it on my own. From scratch.
It might be an odd thing to do, and many in my circle has shown concern, disapproval and many, many puzzled faces.
Hear me out. I felt like I didn’t really earn what I have in terms of work and experience. I felt like it was given to me and that it wasn’t done with my own sweat and tears.
I felt like I haven’t gone through the rough patch that many has gone through. I am lucky to not have only a few dollars left in my wallet, but I would like to experience what it’s like to really make it.
To be able to say, “I’ve made it. On my own.”
Among other things playing a factor, that’s the only reason I am comfortable sharing details on. The rest, let’s just say, I’m not happy.
In my case, HECK YES! I mean, I am twenty. Two, zero. 20. For me to start over, isn’t something of a big deal. I built myself way before everyone else did and starting over now, would put me on par with peers of my age.
I’m old. So I shouldn’t start over right?
Age matters not. It is the heart and will that matters when you want to start over. However, is it wise?
Age is but a number and the only thing that matters, is why and how. If your why is unreasonable, forget how. Don’t do it. If you have a good reason why you want to, then don’t let anything stopped you.
If your reason is solid, and you’re confident that what you do will not have adverse effects on people you care about, then do it. There’s no better time.
“Sometimes you’re left with only 1 choice: Take what’s yours and run for you life.” — Jennifer Elisabeth
The whole idea is once you know you’re in a toxic environment, you leave. There’s no second guessing it.
Leave your baggages, and leave.
It would be good for you, and it will also help to strengthen yourself in facing the world ahead of you. It prepares you for any hardship that might fall upon you and it also liberates you of the stresses of yesterday.
So okay, what about why I shouldn’t?
Starting over isn’t something done overnight. It takes time, and executing it just right, is no small feat.
Everything needs to be in place, and if the slightest bit is not aligned just right, you might not land on your own two feet and end up on your sorry arse.
Don’t leave commitment.
Jump without everything cut, and you’ll end up in a bad place. If you have a commitment that you cannot leave behind for whatever reason don’t.
If you don’t have the willpower to rebuild yourself, don’t.
If you thought twice and have doubts, don’t.
Only do it if you’re 100% without a doubt, sure.